I have to start this by admitting that I do not have a column for this week. I was so certain the doomsayers had finally gotten it right that I didn’t think I’d need one. 12/21/12 started off promisingly enough. My computer died, and if anything signals the end of the world, that’s how I envision it beginning. Then my water heater sprung a leak. Now I’m no Mayan holy man, but you just can’t ignore the evidence when it hits that close to home. So here I am, cut off from the rest of civilization and facing a tidal wave. OK, maybe more of a spritz, but when you don’t discover it right away, that tiny leak oozes all over the floor like The Blob intent on turning everything it touches into a sodden wad of mold-to-be. End of days stuff, indeed. Long story short: I got a new water heater, Santa promised to bring me a new computer after he was finished delivering toys to the good girls and boys, and here it is the dawn of 2013 and I have a deadline.

The days between MEOW (Mayan End Of the World) and BARK (Barely Able to Recall Krismas) were a blur of activity for PRWC. I got a call at home from the local police department late one afternoon. It seems a citizen had called in a complaint about a robbery. While fishing from the Barron Collier Bridge spanning the Peace River, a fisherman had been relieved of his fishing rod by a nefarious perpetrator. Indignant at first, the victim quickly became furious when the police were reluctant to pursue the criminal. When the gentleman insisted upon the return of his equipment, the police called me for assistance. The unsub, of course, was a pelican that had unwittingly flown into the line as it dangled from the bridge to the water below, tearing the expensive equipment right out of the poor man’s hands.